You get the feeling his handlers drilled a few talking points/key phrases into his decaying brain, leaving him only to decide when to pull them out. He is such a fucking puppet.

Me too! I literally can’t look at him!

Your pupils are important. Take care of them. Do not look at the orange man.

It’s just that there are very few players who are capable of it, and teams are probably overly cautious with pitchers. There have been some guys used as two-way or two-way-ish players in recent years, though—Brooks Kieschnick, Micah Owings, even Madison Bumgarner—and I bet Otani will get a shot at it.

Injury concerns. The last thing you’d want is your ace getting a torn ACL on a non pitching day while trying to stretch a single into a double.

But she didn’t lay all the blame on him. It was 30 minute phone call that got into ALL the reasons she lost. In fact, that is exactly what the lifted quote says.

I love Hillary, I voted for her without reservations, I cried when she lost.

The head of sales at my spot is the only dude I know who voted Trump. I asked him to tell me one–just one!–trait about Trump he found appealing. The answer?

That New Yorker cartoon, written large:

It’s really nice to hear privileged people acknowledge and own their privilege, and make an effort to see things from other, less privileged viewpoints.

The worst week of my life was when I found out that I was not only crippled for life, but that it had been done to me on purpose by a doctor who had decided to misdiagnose my injury (and the injuries of countless others). He did this because it allowed him & his practice to perform procedures that would make my pain…

And that’s not even counting all the elected republicans who secretly fucking hate him.

This needs more stars.

Trump got fewer votes than Romney did, not more. Clinton lost because she couldn’t hold on to people who voted for Obama twice. While racism is part of why people did vote for Trump, this isn’t about that, this is about why people who voted for Obama (who, as you may remember, is black) didn’t feel like Clinton would…

Here’s the thing though. Democrats did. I reposted this all over the place today, but it bears repeating.

I still think Stewie did it better!

As Paul Ryan spoke of the inauguration, Donald’s mind raced. This is what he wanted, right? All those months ago, he was so certain. Standing in the curiosities shop in the sweltering June heat, he knew he wanted to be President. He was certain of it when he made that wish, Monkey’s Paw in hand.

Actually I was expecting this for the rest of the Gawkerteriat…

Besides the obvious terrors of President Trump, add on how absolutely joyous Mike Pence is to know he is really the President Elect.

Turning away is what got us into this mess, my bruh.