I was making fun of all the perfectly toned young people at my bougie gym’s pool bar for drinking Bon & Viv’s, but then my friend bought me one and I had to scramble to find other things to make fun of.  Spiked seltzer is good.

I gave you a star because I agree that LaCriox does not deserve disparagement, even though peach-pear is objectively their worst flavor. Yeah, I said it, objectively the worst flavor.

I’D SOONER DRINK FROM A SNOT BUCKET THAN A COMMON TAP, YOU PLEBE.

LaCroix is...okay. I like the apricot, and the key lime. But I prefer Waterloo, if I feel like having flavor in my sparkling water.

Oops, looks like you misspelled ‘Waterloo.’  

LOL Uganda has doctors, you fucking moron.

This is the American immigration system doing exactly what it has been set up to do, and it is not in need of reform—it is in need of abolition.

This brings tears to my eyes.  

I hate money.

Link/s?  I believe you...but I don’t want to believe you...

My insurance company is denying coverage for my top surgery, which was supposed to happen at the end of July. Which major corporation should I reach out to?

Oh my god, you aren’t kidding, are you.  There’s going to be a movie...?

I would pay Hamilton-ticket-money to see that movie.

I think you misunderstood what she was saying. She wasn’t admitting ignorance about her opponents. She was pointing out that some candidates haven’t been as forthcoming about their platforms.

I used to help moderate a really popular Harry Potter website.  This was back during Dubya’s administration.  My role was specifically to moderate the current events and politics portion of the forum.  I had to block or suspend people regularly for bullshit.  

Perry killed him on accident during a fight, mirroring the kind of behavior their father exhibited towards their mother, Mary Louise? Do we know anything about Mary Louise’s baby daddy?

Fuck off.

Goddamn it.