“Yes sir, welcome to the Marine room. Our specials today are a salmon en croute with a brown butter buerre blanc, truffled potato puree and an assortment of seasonal locally sourced seasonal greens or an...old bucket full of various fish parts.”

There’s a diner that I like to go to that has a Beyonce at the turn in. (It’s set back a bit, requiring a short jaunt down a dirt road.) Every time I turn in, I say “Knock knock, motherfucker.”

I got my mother a metal yard chicken for her birthday in December. It isn’t as big as Beyonce and looks a bit different, so…

“You’re supposed to respect your husband! It doesn’t matter that he tried to have you killed, you made vows!!!!”

she’s also received threats from and been ostracized by some members of her community for reporting Kalala to the police.

They already have and Emma Stone is first in line to play Rukundo. If she’s not available though, I think Rooney Mara is down.

This is the best ‘knock, knock motherfucker’ ever.

My 9-year old daughter loves pandas. Is obsessed with them in fact. She has twenty stuffed pandas, draws them, and watches Panda Cam on her iPad.

Somehow, “she loved pandas” really landed a gut punch. Poor baby.

Well, the dead-eyed faces of banal evil. There you are. That poor child.

Popular buttons and stickers included ones that say, “If she can’t please her husband, she can’t please the country,”

I read it in like a 1940s, mid-Atlantic dialect. It was quite compelling.

came him a dick to his face

I read that entirely in a bad Chicago Italian accent. I think.

What do you mean, toots? He thinks you broads are swell. Gonna have to turn you over and teach you a lesson when you get cheeky though. It’s the only way you’ll learn.

I absolutely LOVE that she didn’t apologize and gave zero fucks about his opinion. I hope that tweet of hers gave him the vapors.

How is she just eternally stacked? We’re not worthy.

Susan Sarandon is a queen and Piers Morgan needs to grovel at her feet like the peasant he is. That tbt tweet, my God, she's amazing.

I would have an opinion on the tampon, but I don’t really care what the box or packaging looks like. Just stop making scented ones, tampon companies. FFS.

There are already complaints of bias towards a particular manufacturer: