Choc Chip Muffin Recipe:

Advice on obtaining the perfect beach body is readily available. I'm *almost* ready to go. Check it out.

I'm really not sure what they were going for, but if they wanted to show students how to poke holes in conspiracy theories...aren't there approximately 1 billion relatively-harmless conspiracy theories to use? Like Beyonce and Jay-Z are part of the Illuminati, or ____ celebrity is actually a lizard-person. Students…

these "protests" have gotten really common in austin in the last few months. they walked past my bar about a week ago, and because i've read so much about them, i was angry instead of afraid. i'm not sure that makes me feel any better, though. i'd prefer to retain the survival instinct that causes one to duck when…

Alas, the white tie dress code was only for the men. I wish it had been for the ladies, and then maybe we wouldn't see SO much fug and more tiaras on this carpet. For the women it was a theme of "Charles James" which should have been super easy. Liz would have killed that look as well.

I'm rather (read: VERY) disappointed by this - a "white tie & decorations" dress code is what you'd get at a State Banquet, i.e. white tie for men (which means tailcoat, not just a white bow tie) and formal ball gown plus tiaras (if they've got them, and don't tell me Anna Wintour couldn't get her hands on a tiara),…

Are we not going to talk about this?

About no one in particular.

Notice the nametag? Notice the outfit? I'm 99% sure that's the manager getting his picture taken with them after the fact.

"They didn't even have Jack In The Box"

WTF would have happened if someone else was carrying a concealed and loaded firearm in the restaurant, mistook these "protesters" for armed robbers, and decided to be the good guy with a gun? At which point, of course, the idiots outside the restaurant would assume that THEY were the good guys with guns. Presto: A…

I'm not a gun owner nor do I come from a family or area where people actually own guns, unless its to hunt pheasants or some other WASP-y thing (ever seen The Philadelphia Story? I used to babysit for the family that lives in that house). But I have lived in the South for long enough (and dated enough good ole boys)…

We got a fuckton of guns at my family home in South Carolina too. IN A GUN SAFE. To be fair, I think my dad sometimes has a handgun in his bedside table drawer. Mostly we just have a pitbull (who would actually hide, and then lick intruders to death, but they don't know that, and she barks good.)

What color are you, and what color are they? Because that seems to be pretty important, from what I can tell.

If those guys had been black, they would have called in a SWAT team.

Question. If it is someone's constitutional right to carry a gun, and I am in a state where it is my constitutional right to kill someone when I feel threatened (re: stand your ground states) can I legally kill all Open Carry folks. Because I personally feel threaten by all of them. And I think that their…

We have a panic button under our front desk for these exacting situations.

I would definitely watch an entire show of "animals living and rapists dying."

I got Hodor on one of those "which character are you?" quizzes, and it was the best day of my life.

Ghost eats a rapist!