As a microbiologist I’ve been trying to get people to stop using that shit for years, but I think I finally gave up a little while back. Yay, FDA!

Man’s a fuckin hero

“You literally look like Rob paid for you,” says Khloé.

Same thing happened to me at an all-you-can-eat sushi place. Excuse me for offending your delicate sushi sensibilities w/ my hunger!

I was kicked out of Demon Dogs in Chicago back in the day. When I tell Chicagoans this they say “I didn’t know you COULD get kicked out of Demon Dogs,” and then go on to tell me about something horrible that they did or a friend did while drunk and it’s always horrific. Then I add that the manager who kicked me out…

Counterpoint 1: “A taco truck on every corner” platform gets my vote immediately.

Me, too! Chalupa mi verga, cabron!

I was kicked out of Catholic school in 8th grade by a vengeful nun who accused me of “making cat noises” during Confirmation rehearsal. In reality, nobody was making any noises, cat or otherwise. Unfortunately, I couldn’t stop laughing at the absurdity of Sister Maria Goretti in a deranged fury, scurrying up and down…

“Show me your cock.”

I agree with this insanely correct post.

Too many kids on welfare these days. The internet has destroyed the newspaper delivery industry that used to employ so many 10-15 year olds. We need to deregulate coal mining and manufacturing jobs to get these kids back to work and close the child welfare agency for good.

I think the only place I ever got kicked out of was health class in 5th grade because I couldn’t control myself and snickered at a cartoon dick becoming erect. I was pretty embarrassed after that. I hope this guy is mortified. Especially since his face will go viral with this video unlike the vast majority of hecklers…

No.

If this pundit’s taco-ridden nightmare scenario comes true, this country will be an even better place to get drunk. Just picture being able to brownbag some tallboys and go on a taco-crawl pretty much anywhere.

Damn, what a bleak picture he paints of a dominant culture using their advanced taco technology to take over the country. We didn’t spill blood fighting the English, Indians, French, Mexicans, Spanish, Pilipinos, Germans, Japanese, Italians, Vietnamese, Cambodians, Arabs, Iranians, Somalians, for tacos to become the…

Barbacoa

yeah I mean majority of studies show that being a vegan is not healthy at all unless you over-supplement with vitamins to combat all the deficiencies you’ll face.

White people terrorized black people to the extent that bears, snakes, swamps were nothing compared to the terror of white hate

I had a 2nd grade teacher crumple up my paper and throw it in my face when she noticed it had a Cheeto mark on the corner of it. Your teacher and my teacher were miserable cunty mccuntersons. My sympathies!!

Why be a teacher?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Do something else if you hate children.