Me too. Best showers of my life are the ones I took after giving birth. Folks just don’t know! After shoving a human and all kinds of fluids out of one’s vagina and then all the sweat and stink and tears and snot crying.... that shower.... oh good god that shower...... then the hunger. I mean yeah, animals probably…

Even in Sunny Granola Crunching Northern CA it still is seen that way. When I told people I cloth they more often looked at me like I lost my mind.

Not at all. We saved a ton of money and it was easy as long as you keep up with the laundry. They have velcro wraps now and you just place the cloth trifold inside and wrap it on. It’s really the same amount of energy and time as disposable when you are changing them. I washed my own, I know some people get a service…

I am a fucking hippie. I freely acknowledge this undisputed fact. I homebirthed. Loved it. I buried all four of my placentas in the yard and planted a fucking tree on top of them. I breastfed way past my kids being able to have full conversations about how and when they would like to nurse. I coslept. I made my own…

When your family is just so damn fun... All the Oscar the sports Grinches need to get the fuck over it and smile god damn it.

I kid you not: I showed him his stuff once and he said “He uses too many flowers. I like succulents and wood.”

Well to help quell your jealousy it comes with a price: You have a 7 year old that follows you around the house saying things like “We should clean this place up.” “that doesn’t go there” “That chair doesn’t fit this living room” “Can we get new dishes? Ours don’t match.” “Let’s paint my room again because gray is the…

My son dreams of this closet. He is 7. He literally brought me this month’s issue of Real Simple opened up to the great closet organizing 4 page spread and said “mom, we need to do this to my closet. I can’t take it anymore.”

I gave birth to her successor. He is 7. He is Martha Stewart trapped in a 7 year old boy body. He has magazine subscriptions to Sunset (his favorite), Real Simple & he loves Martha. The highlight of his summer plans this year: visiting the Sunset test gardens in Menlo Park.

I really want her to come out as a lesbian, run off with some awesome woman and while giving them all a big fat middle finger as she drives down the long driveway from their compound.

TMZ reported it was some sisters and some non-relatives. I remember they had some huge Duggar-esque family that stays/visits them sometimes on the show.. maybe their daughters too?

lucky you then. I wasn’t in 1993. Looks like it worked out for both of us.

Fuck Mariah. My friend who is a HUGE fan of hers... I mean crazy HUGE... took unpaid time off of his job, spent money he saved for a long time to go to Vegas to see her for his birthday week and the bitch fucking canceled. No warning. Just “meh, not tonight.” Yeah they refunded his ticket but they aren’t paying for…

When I was pregnant with my first child I had no clue I was pregnant until I was 5 in a half months along. I am not a stupid person. I had excellent sex education and a mother in the medical profession whom I could, and did, ask any sex or body related question to. Yet, here I was 21 years ago pregnant at over 5…

baby goats are heaven. Actual for real heaven.

I live in the North Bay and one of my clients is a cat & dog shelter and there are a lot of kittens pretty early this year. More than usual so there may be some truth to this theory.

Bay Area here too.. The traffic. I haven’t worn deodorant in 2 days because I can’t gather up the energy to face the traffic so I ordered it on Amazon. Yes. Prime shipping... the last 2 days have been my own private stink hell but today is the day!

We spend time in Northern NM and love the shit out of it. If I had my way that is where I would be. Not that it has more water but the people who live there KNOW and accept that they do indeed live in a desert. In CA they pretend that every inch of it is a watershed and are in total denial half the state is a god damn…

It is so crazy expensive here you could fly out to visit them once a month cheaper than living here. If you do move here and have the ability to work from home then move somewhere in the hills far from the cities if you want to have money to eat. I work from home and that is what we are about to do. It’s literally the…

There are 48 other states besides CA and Texas. Seriously. Don’t pick CA.