It’s a little known fact that thousands of people die from Paul Schrader’s Facebook post each year.

What an inspiring speech for the new graduates: “Everyone is horrible to everyone else every minute of the day. Also, things aren’t getting better any time soon so you better be able to laugh it off.”

“Don’t tolerate what Intolerant Bill doesn’t tolerate.” Sigh. They could have made this clearer.

But he made a homophobic remark! Surely that proves the unimpeachable value of his arguments!

I haven’t seen a lot of ‘Curb’, so take my opinion with as much salt as you need to, but the impression I get is that Larry stays likeable in that show because his crankiness never serves his best interests. Whether you think his views on things are reasonable or not, he takes them too far and suffers for it.…

Someone punched Steve Buscemi?

“Hey, I’m punchin’ here!”

200 guys and at least a couple of gators.

I always try to punch six impossible things before breakfast.

Honey, I Got Socked in the Face.

I’ve always been so enchanted by the story of JRR Tolkien, a humble professor who looked at the mythology of England and sought to create a significant opportunity for a theatrical business.

“What I want from each and every one of you is a hard-target search of every hobbit-hole, vegetable farm, barrow, haystack, tavern and blackberry bush in that area.”

Well, at least this fraught interview was conducted by a man who’s a byword for sensitivity and compassion, Piers Morgan.

I look forward to Galactus demonstrating his awesome power by throwing a kettle over the roof of a pub.

Actually, it juts looks like a G. It’s his family crest, and in his language it means, “I’m so hungry I could eat a planet.”

It’s almost impressive that what I’m sure is a massive marketing team all watched that ad and thought, “Yep, no sinister undertones there.”

The line “Seagal gives the kind of performance typically associated with actors who died during production” lives on in my heart.

Everyone in ‘Honour Among Thieves’ seemed to get the assignment: Pine, Rodriguez, Grant, all brought what was needed to make that film work.

I wonder if Paste-era AV Club could tempt Ignatiy Vishnevetsky back. There was a guy who knew how to pan a movie.

Let me know when they get to the Planet of the Cows: