I don’t know, I think Paltrow may be the Michael Jordan of Cluelessness. Sure, she’s got the experience, but she’s also got that raw natural talent that most of us can only dream of.

And it’s why Dakota Johnson’s “any line sounds weird out of context” reply doesn’t really hold up, because people can’t imagine any context in which that combination of words wouldn’t sound bizarre.

I always try to be sympathetic of mental health issues; as someone with depression, anxiety, and ADHD, I get that keeping your head together is a tough business. And seeking therapy is always to be encouraged, whatever the reason that gets you there.

I didn’t ultimately enjoy ‘Eternals’, but I do appreciate that it was trying something new and something a bit grander for the MCU. I think if anything, it maybe didn’t go weird enough. The Eternals should feel deeply otherworldly, but they just seemed like another group of superfolk.

Didn’t Simmons specifically say that him being jacked had nothing to do with playing Gordon and that he’s just a fitness buff anyway?

“Mr Maher? We have Milo Yiannopoulos on line 2 for you.”

“So, who gets to keep the cat?”

Parasocial relationships are a real trip, huh?

That all sounds fine, as long as she doesn’t expose a nipple.

The AV Club has just enough shame to make their shamelessness even more apparent.

“Another man inspired to action by the wardrobe malfunction was Jawed Karim, who ... lamented the fact that videos of the incident were so hard to find online.”

I was saying Swift Boob-urns.

Forget it, Bad Kuchi Kopi, it’s LowEffortTrolltown.

Hey, some people are into that.

If I remember correctly, you see a quick shot of robot Human Torch in ‘Captain America: The First Avenger’ when Steve and Bucky are at the big science fair, just before they see Howard Stark show off his flying car. I always thought it’d be fun to have a little retro superhero adventure for him somewhere in the MCU.

“If his people thought they could create a shift in his public image, they miscalculated” is a professional way of saying, “Oh honey, no.”

*thinks about making incredibly tasteless joke about things that happens in prison, restrains self*

That’s legitimately great news about his son. Kidney damage sucks.

Okay, Alanis.

“It didn’t escalate into an arrest, it started as one.”