Come on, Earl. Come on.

wassa becky how u?

Hey that was a rhyme, now I’ll give you a dime if you have the time. Get a life you crazy conspiracy theorist. Is this where all the former Trump-Russia Resisters went? To “True Patriot” land?

Exaggeration tag, maybe. Sarcasm tag? No, there is no sarcasm here. Donald John Trump is the best president of your lifetime, mine too.  

The fervor over Travis Maring and Mike Brown was done specifically to weaken the rule of law itself. The future was supposed to disorder, and Hillary was going to import 20 million new immigrants from the third world that would do the illegal things they currently do in Europe. Without the ability to police them -…

Yeah, he did. And what’s with you people not Googling my names anymore? Google this one and have a great weekend ok Earl?

Well, that changes everything.

It’s more likely that this is another exercise fad that’s had its run. But it is literally literally literally literally literally literally literally literally  L I T E R A L L Y  impossible for you people to stop thinking about the best president this nation has ever had, Donald John Trump.

You are talking about the core power structure of the Democratic Party. Don’t talk about your superiors like that. Only we lowly Trump supporters get to make fun of your betters.

Hi there, enormous Trump supporter here. I might be the biggest one even. Been supporting hims since he announced in the summer of twenty fifteen and I have been nothing but impressed so far. It’s actually surprising how one man can take on the entire global political establishment and not only win, but completely…

Do NOT be mean to me.

Ben Shapiro has never lost a debate. Ever.

CAN THE MODERATORS PLEASE DELET THIS COMMENT IT IS HORRIBLE FOR OUR ADVERTISING REVENUE THANKS IMMEDIATLY

If there was any justice in this world the police would stop doing their jobs, sit back, and let the unions protect their pay. Meanwhile, the voters that empower people like De Blasio and Gov Newsom who berate the police and hamstring their ability to perform their jobs would see their neighborhoods unravel into chaos.

Three stories about press secretaries, a couple tweets, more Sharpie nonsense, a show with Jim from the office, and something about beans...

As a white liberal who works in marketing and lives in a city I can tell you that you are definitely wrong. Diversity in advertisements is actually a heartfelt initiative that our generations - I’m not sure how old you are, I’m 24 - insists on creating. Key word - creating. We are creators, and not just of these ads.…

Ladies? This isn’t a ladies problem. This is learned behavior from men.

This story is a metaphor for Splinter News webpage. People come here hoping to find lots of interesting words to read that make them feel something, a nice reprieve from their otherwise meaningless, numb lives. Instead, it’s just me. A single bean trying to stay afloat in a sea of inconsequential filler and…

Stick to politics. 

It’s propaganda at its finest and most distilled.