Thousands and thousands of years of humankind’s problems.

Melania as a Velociraptor. I’m giggling like a school child.

Did I fail Braxton Beverly? Aw fuck. I think I did.

Aside from the attempt to create a diversion from a criminal act, the other thing that isn’t sitting well with me with his “coming out” is his characterization of it as a grudgingly-made choice. It’s like he’s saying, Hey, I’ve been with women so I’m not really gay, but “I choose now to live as a gay man.” Not really…

Another reason he will have difficulty is that he has made a career of portraying conniving characters. Granted, we’re supposed to be smart enough to divorce actors from the characters they play, but Spacey’s “explanation” sounds exactly like something that would come out of Frank Underwood’s mouth.

Or perhaps bleached in?

Got a bag of Orville in the microwave, ready to go. Nothing I love more than a glorious Taylor Swift shredding!

60-year-old LeBron has “televangelist” written all over him.

Chief Gray Cloud: [Whispering to Avram] I did not understand one word.

Not sure whether to laugh hysterically or be offended that Jim McGrath, presumably with a straight-face, offered that “explanation” with the expectation that it would put this matter to rest. I’d say he would be a perfect fit in Trump’s communications operations, except McGrath (sorta) apologized at the end. Trump…

So a meeting of Senate Republicans gave a “standing O” (just threw up in my mouth) to Trumpster, eh? On the one hand, just the kind of business-as-usual masturbatory lie he is known to tell. But on the other hand, totally believable that that craven group of assholes would bow at his feet. So which is it? I know a bit…

I checked out some other articles because I was curious “why bleach?” I didn’t get a very informative answer to my question, but I did notice that most articles recommended bleaching after carving, whereas the Apartment Therapy article suggests doing it before carving. Anyone out there who has tried both the before…

Concur! It didn’t make sense to me at first, and then it suddenly made all the sense in the world.

My first thought was “A guy who prefers golf pants as an IZOD ambassador?” and then I googled “izod golf pants” and was, um, relieved to find out that I’m blissfully ignorant of the extent (and continued existence) of the IZOD brand.

“Don’t ask that guy—he wants to hang them all!”

Where’s the part where an orb is drifting around a ceiling fan or a book is scooting inches from someone’s face? That’s what I wanted to see!

Not that these type of people are meant to be “understood,” but I’ve never understood the whole “recruit them into homosexuality” mantra. And in the It Gets Better context above, it doesn’t even make any sense: “I’m a straight kid, but, oooooh, tell me I’m could experience the thrill of being bullied and I’m ready to…

Douche kept doggie from accidentally backing itself off the desk. But then douche pushed doggie back toward the source of its fear. So yes, douche is the correct term. Not sure why douche is such a source of lol hilarity, though.

Doxie voice approved! As a reward (and since I slighted his brother in the previous comment), behold...

Manipulate? Puh-leeeze! We doggie owners need to be manipulated not to show you photos of our dogs.