@SwatLax: They don't call him Mr. Cub for nothing.

@LarsLindgrensUlrich: I'm very much enjoying the current "hit in a bad place" euphenism.

And so the Ultimate Warrior was If this new man wasn't the old Ultimate Warrior, then who was he? Kerry Von Erich?

@Desi_Relaford: How do you pronounce "dog" normally? I mean, I grew up in New England, but don't those words rhyme in American English also?

And I'm supposed to take a trip to Detroit in April. It looks cold....and wet. Probably should pack my water wings.

@Fuzzy Dunlop: Hillary just fell eight spots on the "Celebrities I Hate" list.

The Earthquake's dead? Who gives a fuck, we're 3-8 in the conference.

Wait — I can be a school bus driver? O Captain, My Captain!

I expect the defense to plead not guilty by way of the little-known Who-Deysian Defense.

Obviously, these young Black Hawks misunderstood the memo regarding which people in the limo should be topless. You think Stan Makita or Jeremy Roenick would be topless in this situation? Fuck you, Patrick Kane, for making me notice faces.

@UpstateUnderdog: Chourico for everyone!

@I Like Cheap Beer: Yet queers are unable to do either.

@StevieFranchise: I guess Spearchucker Jones gets snubbed?

I think it's great that Nash is a glass-half-full kind of guy. Most Canadians are. #stevenash

I wasn't going to buy Jeter as homeless, until I noticed the five o'clock shadow. Usually such authentic touches go unnoticed. #watercoolerfodder

@Barry Petchesky: A gangster, no less. #kansasjayhawks

Umm Coach....are you comparing Ted Ginn to the Lord?

@UpstateUnderdog: Yankees, Fans Have a Love/Twenty-eight Relationship #newyorkyankees

Just so I'm clear, that is a Nebraska T-shirt she ironed decals on, right? #philadelphiaphillies

Could I just rent them for an hour or two? #tampabaybuccaneers