@Clare: Is there gas in the car?

@Clare: I'll go ahead and say it — I'd much, much rather listen to a Steely Dan compilation than this silly Use Your Illusion business everybody seems to want to argue about.

Here's my question: how in the living FUCK do you get the kid to do that?

@Bullet_Tooth_Tony: I'm all in with Cannibal Corpse. What I can remember from my sophomore year roommate's collection:

@Franklin Comes Alive!: He must have acquired a Penis Mightier

@Mean_Old_Frisco: That's much more creative than the Malkin and Tsar joke used in the article.

I dunno...he sort of has a point. If I were the judge, I'd solve the problem by putting him under house arrest. Then there's no reason for a valet, and he can get chicken marsala delivered.

You know who had a great wedding? Brett Favre.

Went by the name of Homer. Seven feet tall he was, with arms like tree trunks. His eyes were like steel, cold, hard. Had a shock of hair, red like the fires of Hell.

Kim Jong-Il isn't impressed.

@PermanentInjuredReserve: Oh, I don't think there are that many.

Meanwhile, Eliot Spitzer is getting his dick sucked for a thousand dollars. Philip Seymour Hoffman is probably watching.

And Al Sharpton hasn't called them out as racists yet because there's no 24-foot Marvin Hagler statue?

Last night I was flipping channels and came to rest on her nude scene from Desperado. Yay me.

Topping Seal's greatest hits is Crazy, the next three are Killer, Whirlpool, and Future Love Paradise.

@Steve Perry Solo Project: I was thinking that if there was ever a call for an Erin Andrews fathead....this is it.

@joe loves yellowpads: Lionshead? I thought they stopped making that after all those hillbillies went blind.

Black sharks? Perhaps not. But the black dolphins are beautiful creatures.

@AugieOjedaFanClub: I remember being spanked by him on two non-consecutive occasions.

@Hit Bull Win Steak: It's no big deal...like, 8% of guys do it.