There are 50 female tennis players?

@Candace Parker Secret Lover: He's better off staying in LA and nailing Menounos.

On the upside, it makes for one-stop shopping when you need to beat your toddlers.

Sorry Ladies, he's married.*

That guys arms are enor — oh...

@Dany Heatley Speedwagon: Does that mean we can get rid of Phoenix, Nashville, Dallas, Atlanta, and the two Florida franchises? Sweet. I'll even go back to wearing a mullet to make it happen.

@theheckle: I was going to go with Legionnaires Disease.

@HockeyMountain: How'd that work out for you? I'd kill for a closer.

It's like I told Redford, Quinn....not gonna happen.

@stealofthedraft: + 17

I blame the fact that most people work the step channels of the remote and can't bother to get all the way up to 247.

One of the biggest fear any sports fan is that they care more about the outcome of a particular game more than an individual player

@Romario: In that case, since Kinnear and I have the same initials, and I'm a fan of Newcastle (the squad and the brown ale), I can't wait until that hits eBay.

@Quick Draw: I thought he was calling the sideline reporter a cunt

Gimme a "Y", gimme an "E"...

@Steve_U: I figured that after his tirade, he could point to his jacket and say Just Kidding, see?

@Pittsburgh Sports and Mini Ponies: I think he's touring with Oates, Messina, Garfunkel, and Lisa.

@josereyes.theroof wishes to perform Tim Harris's sack-dance...: For some reason that I can't put my finger on, I'd really like to have anal sex with said cheerleader.

@suntastic: Big Gay Al, for one.

Bus, teammates. Teammates, bus.