This is a good story.

get out of chicago, man.

This is an excellent take.

Where I live (Denver), I would grade the seasons thus:

pumpkin ales are a crime against humanity.

counterpoint: pumpkinspice is everywhere. fuuuuuuuuuck pumpkin spice.

except he’s pretty much right. the only people who like the beach are small children.

I live in Colorado. This means:

I live in Colorado. This means:

Oh, you don’t have to be a NFC East team fan to loathe the Cowboys. Entrenched hatred arising from the early to Mid-90's Cowboys teams knows no division. I’m a Bears fan. The only team that loathe nearly as much as the Packers is the Cowboys. I know Packers fans who hate the Cowboys with the passion of a billion…

Clearly, all these folks deserved to be executed extra-judicially.

The colonists were terrorists and rebels and traitors.

does your job involve driving or operating some other form of heavy machinery?

Drew’s my age. We grew up in an era where the Cowboys WERE what the Pats are now. So, while I really speak for myself, I’m guessing Drew has similar feelings on this matter.

Fuck you Cowboys fans.

How about “don’t drive high”?

• Marijuana is figuring into more fatal crashes overall. In 2013, drivers tested positive for the drug in about 10 percent of all fatal crashes. By 2016, it was 20 percent.

I’m pro legalization, but this is wrong:

Does it help if you stuff the mouth with holy wafers and dunk it in holy water?

Megyn Kelly or Cersei Lannister brought to life.