And to think, this never would have happened if he would have just had the opportunity to live out his dream as a professional football player.

So did the woman in the article. I bet she felt raped by the peck on the cheek. She’s now in therapy, hence the thinkpiece.

“Her: godly, gorgeous, athletic, educated, careered, humorous, travelled, bilingual, 26-year-old virgin. You: unworthy, though becoming less so daily.”

I bid two goats and an acre of farmland of a goodly soil.

I didn't intend to imply they shouldn't share the information with uber, only that these numbers should be verifiable through other sources like hospitals or something because what the fuck does telling uber do

To be clear; are people being raped and reporting it to the rapist’s place of employment? Do these numbers correlate to police reports or are woman calling uber and dropping it? I'm not criticizing, I'm confused.

Ha! Dude wanted a Trout souvenir, but only came away with a red herring.

She’s better at eating things shaped like penises.

What...the ...fuck ......Kourtney?

what the hell, kourtney? the point is to eat the chocolate and pb part together to get the deliciousness. why don’t you just buy plain chocolate and pb and eat it separately? nutjob.

I’m totally NOT clicking on this click bait! Oops. Seriously tho, you can’t mess with the choc to pb ratio. You gotta eat it in two uniform bites.

The good news is that there’s a whole book of it! Can’t wait to not read it. Seriously, there should have been a trigger warning for this post. It totally brought up my depression and anxiety.

Bernie Sanders: getting all up in the establishment’s bizness.

Never saw the “delivery vs Digiorno” debate escalate quite like this

At least we now know that Osweiler can hit the barn-side of a broad...

No! I want all movies banned! #trump2016

Free movies for everybody! FIFY

Seems like exactly the kind of performance I’d expect out of millennials, honestly.

And angry drunks. Don’t forget angry drunks. They are the fucking worst. If drinking doesn’t make you happy you need to stay the fuck home and/or stay sober.

This is so beyond ... so beyond.