If I had a nickel for every one of Alan’s flyboy buddies

Antwaan Randle El?

Can’t he just play for the Broncos?

Room and board? What about the fucking education!?

Damn, no love EVER for the NHL. Literally the most fun sport to watch and play. Penguins coming back from the brink of oblivion to win it all! Crosby, the best player in the game, stomping on Ovechkin’s nards in the prior series. But no, the NHL can’t even get a miniscule mention in the larger conversation.

Perhaps he applied eye black to his butt crack for optimal asshole viewage. 

*Matt Murray broke his hand too.

More like a hot dog down a hallway, amarite?