Balmain is not my jam but goddamn, this is a beautiful couple.

That is totally, completely disgusting, and a solid business plan for paying off student loans.

I love this stuff, but I came here to say what the hell? When did you start writing for Gawker media?

DO YOU PEOPLE KNOW WHO THIS WOMAN IS

I am down for a Stamos, Lowe, and Jezebel cuddle puddle. The sign up sheet will be in the break room.

Ugh, seriously, did you have to post a Santorum post at lunch? I'm eating here!

I feel like this is an opportune time for a reminder of Dan Savage's definition of Santorum: That frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex.

Right on!

Ross is probably lactose-intolerant, hence his hatred of ice cream fun times.

Run like hell.

What about the friend who just told you she's pregnant with her first and you're not planning on having kids for a while. Sigh.

I have non-parallel friends because they are now "sensitive to gluten" and I like beer.

Why the crap didn't you go with them, Ross?

Waitwaitwaitwaitwait. Three shots of tequila in two hours? That's like lunch on a Tuesday.

I set a supervisor's coat on fire and woke up in the bed of one of the dudes from Vampire Weekend (he was on tour and not present).

Sadly, my horror show, was just last year, at an age when I should know better. I was attending a very fancy company holiday party, for the company that I work for as a senior staff member in the entertainment industry. as well, I had rsvp'd to attend an early evening cocktail party, business related, beforehand.

Sex on a folding chair may be the most unsafe sex you can participate in.

I'm organizing our office party. I'll check in after next week.

Death By Snu Snu!

Oh no! I'm so sorry! I had assumed you were done. I wouldn't read too much into my bawling. I was about 4 glasses into a bottle of wine and usually, by that point, I'm crying at commercials.