Feel free to come by whenever and snuggle/dress up Maxwell!!!

Does a pet count? because I call myself mom sometimes when I explain my dog...

Can I be the snob who says I never like when scotch is added to a cocktail? It pretty much does fine on its own.

Oh man, do not mess with brujas. My husband, who is from New Mexico and does not believe in any super natural anything is hella firm in his belief in brujas. They will mess you up if you piss them off.

You might not be able to keep up with him. He’s hardcore.

Can I sneak my pug in?

Important update from the trial:

Burning Man sounds like a nightmare: hugging and dust.

Is “making gravy” anything like pegging?

It’s like the 90’s, white people dreads, and nudity had a boring threeway.

I tried to wipe off my screen for several seconds before I realized it was something on his forehead.

My mom never packed me a #yumbox.

I totally would have bought that encyclopedia (says the lady who got told not to buy a copy of the Serial Killer Encyclopedia by her husband because she has “enough creepy stuff”).

LIKE ALL DAY LONG BECAUSE OF THAT QUOTE.

I am insensitive to his art, anyway: he’s a mime and calls his body his “instrument,” and cannot tolerate one iota of mime-bashing.

I see what you did there.

One million stars for this.

I like that this is just a bourbon fruit salad (yes my fruit salads only contain mangoes)

Haunted house AND bar? That would get me to finally visit the south....