This entire franchise, the books and movie: just seriously a whole bunch of yawns. I'm just not that interested in any of it.

Did you have any say in the cover art for your books? Those are some of the campiest, spookiest, weirdest children book covers I remember.

For the briefest moment I thought Patti LaBelle ACTUALLY died and I was going to get super pissed about the totally inappropriate headline.

I was slightly underwhelmed by the creepiness of it all, does that make me a weirdo?

It's kind of telling if she thought she needed to keep the Rock Hard cream instead of the Deep Throat spray. :/ Awkward teenage sex is awkward.

OK Cupid married here, too! And no, ladies do not get more, I think I got about six replies all together and only went on one other date. Mostly it was a lot of emailing then discovering something that turned me off (one guy said he sometimes ate his own hair. wtf).

I wish I had a more elaborate story to offer, but here's what I got: my shower turns on randomly. Not a little trickle of water, a full blast heat turned all the way up shower. The first time it happened, I assumed some bit of plumbing was loose and gave it a pretty good inspection, tightening what needed to be…

Lizzy Borden if I can find a fake ax.

The little girl who was in Manos now sells Master robes for dogs, which is the most adorable thing ever. https://www.etsy.com/shop/jackeyray…

does he have patio furniture instead of an actual indoor dining table? I may be showing my privilege but no part of me wants to sit on a metal chair with a beach towel thrown over it.

When you're gonna party with 14-year-olds, you gotta be prepared.

"hunger crankies"

If I went to a wedding with sponsors, I would be hard pressed to buy them a gift...

Me at lunchtime w/burrito.

Yes. I approve of this after that whole horrible "knotting" post.

wtf did i just read.

Sorry, not sorry, I'm going to still order my soy lattes no matter what is right or wrong with soy milk. I'd rather be seen as uncool than curl up in the fetal position for hours while my body mocks me for attempting to digest lactose (stupid fucking ice cream hating body).

They're working on the teeth thing.

After I had teeth pulled (and woke up), I demanded we go to TGIFridays. I drooled blood everywhere and fell asleep in the booth before I could even get my brownie sundae.

Thankfully, LEGO has made little skirts that fit over the legs or just printed a skirt pattern onto the legs so the female minifigs can now do leg stuff (yay for sitting on tiny chairs!) without having that giant slope brick.