No. How fucking dare she imply that these two soldiers, graduates of West Point, an MP and a helicopter pilot, who worked so incredibly hard to even get the chance to attend Ranger school, and then completed it against all odds, how fucking dare she even think they should just shut up and go away and do ladylike…

Conservatives LOVE Juno. “C’mon, teens! Our adoption agencies need your babies!”

They were part of a competition we were having on who wrote the best smut. (At that point I had won 2 cokes and a rice Krispy treat.)

Yesterday, Ellen Page confronted Republican candidate Ted Cruz at the Iowa State Fair

The TL;DR:

My mom does this too, but it’s because my dad’s the preacher, and she does it solely to heckle him.

It was my dad and stepmom (about 25 years ago). I was obsessed with horses growing up but it just never worked out. Parents divorced (you buy her a horse, no you buy her a horse), taking care of my sisters, job, early college. A slew of reasons. So when I finally had the means and the time I started riding, English…

Ladies: you don’t need to clean your vagina. They are self-cleaning.

YOU get a clean vagina, and YOU get a clean vagina!

SO HERE’S HOW IT ALL WENT DOWN.

The summer after high school graduation and my boyfriend was staying the night from out of town. He slept in the guest room and, in the morning, I went in and laid on top of the covers next to him (with the door left open, of course, because rules). Soon after, two or three of our cats also jumped on the bed.

Oh man, my dad is a wealth of embarrassment. A good one is when I first started bringing my now husband around. He and my dad were watching football and my mom and I were chatting. A commercial for Cialis comes on. After the commercial, my dad turns to my now husband and says, “Have you noticed the difference between…

I was seventeen and a senior in high school. The way it worked at my school was that we had prom and then we were off for about a month before graduation. It was during this period that my friends and I decided to buy/try weed for the first time. I’m naturally high strung so the whole process was such a debacle that I…

You really need to lay down an electronic trail of FILTH. Just the most extreme stuff ever, and watch your parents for reactions.

Once, my mom and dad told us they were giving us the house for the weekend while they were taking a cruise. I was 18 and I was going to have friends over. It was going to be a fantastic weekend!

When I was 19, my new boyfriend came over for dinner for the first time. My mother, at the time, worked at a spinnaker shop and had recently been charged with making a garter for some co-worker’s wedding. She had made it and brought it home for some reason or another. My dad found it lying on the counter and put it on…

Mine was thankfully only something I witnessed, but it was HORRIFYING. In middle school after leaving the dermatologist my Mom and I were at Walmart shopping for facewash. I was looking at the Neutrogena and Mom whispers in my ear “I never liked Neutrogena. It feels like cum on my face.”

When I was going to be a freshman in college my mom randomly told the Best Buy sales associate (male, naturally) we were buying a computer from that I would be starting college as a virgin. “How often do you see that?” she asked. Probably never mom, or more specifically...no one else in the history of ever has thought…

My dad was a pretty serious LOTR nerd before it was cool, i.e. before the movies came out. He read all the appendices and books by Tolkien’s son annotating his father’s notes and books about the linguistics and collections of artwork about Middle Earth. Two of these artists were particularly considered to be experts,…