Whenever I hear this advice, I wonder what people like this would say to my (sadly) many friends who were raped/sexually assaulted as children. Should they have avoided drinking? Was it their fault that they were assaulted? What should they have done to prevent rape?

Can we give this guy a ban on editorializing in interview articles and also describing the way people look for like 6 months and see if he can still write?

Ahem. Allow me to try a thing. Please sing to the tune of “Life’s Been Good” by the better Joe Walsh.

I don’t even know what level of faulty logic that falls under. Tautological reasoning maybe?

I may or may not have written up a synopsis for a thriller-comedy-romance on twitter starring him and Dev Patel as roommates who go on a heist. I think Danielle Brooks was the love interest.

NO YOU’RE CRYING

Sing it with me, everyone!

YESSSS I love it so much. They are not even remotely in the realm of fucking around.

I got it in my early 20's, but I was also not having sex at that time.

I’m gonna go with marble columns.

The OJ Simpson trial. I think I was 4 or 5 at the time. I don’t know that I understood what had happened, just that a man named OJ Simpson was in court and that we all wanted to know whether he was innocent or guilty.

In a normal election year, sure.

Er... I’m not 100% comfortable calling the Lewinsky situation “consensual,” but I see your point.

I’m not a fan of Gretchen, but I respect the fuck out of her for standing up for herself here. Fox News’s fanbase is not known for being particularly friendly to victims of sexual harassment, and can easily write her off. She has everything to lose, but is speaking out anyway.

Yeah it's been like a year and a half. My body still doesn't like fatty food, though. At least it doesn't hurt anymore.

... fine I'm not mad at you anymore, Marcus Mumford. But you're on my watchlist after that last album.

Back in my Weight Watchers days, I got the advice to take shots of straight vodka, rum, or tequila instead of drinking a fruity drink or wine/beer, if you're looking to cut calories. So... you have an excuse now.

I see green veggies, dairy, and protein.

I can't find it on this computer, but I have a chart on my phone that shows the sugar content of different foods in comparison to Krispy Kreme doughnuts. I think a can of Coke is like 1.5 Krispy Kremes.

My great aunt lived to be 96 and ate chocolate after every meal. Old people know their shit.