All in favor of replacing school sex ed with this shit say “aye.”

If I wasn’t at work, I would totally post that vine (video?) of the two guys singing “suck a dick” to Pachabel’s Canon.

The text version:

does this qualify as white nonsense?

See, I had a flashback during the “I can like your cock and not be a whore” scene in season 2. So that’s a thing.

I’ve started judging people as Girls characters, tbh. I’m 99% Shosh, 1% Hannah.

And I’m a Miranda if anyone cares.

The young man sits impatiently in his manager’s office, stretching his fingers. It’s be a quiet night. Too quiet. He begins to wonder whether he should just leave without warning, fading quietly into the cool, humid night. And then the phone rings, and he grunts as a reply. He know what the call is.

“Todd,” a familiar,…

Are you a twitterbot, because you’re my favorite twitterbot.

Oh yeah. She just got over a minor bladder infection, so I’m pretty sure that whole area is fine. She’s always peed lots, even when she was an itty bitty kitten. She also always pees in the same spot in the litterbox, so it could just look like she pees more than she does because there’s this giant boulder of clumped…

Heh, I’m imagining the kind of hissy fit my mom would throw if my school administrators had tried to do this with me. I was a pretty healthy eater, but had some food issues in 4th-5th grade thanks to an anxiety disorder that killed my appetite. Peanut butter crackers, tuna sandwiches, and apples were pretty much all I…

THANK YOU.

And then sometimes you get a cat like mine who only eats very specific food, and changes what that is about ever 3-4 months. Thankfully, right now it’s the Kroger brand wet food in pouches. Last go-round, it was prescription kibble. She also pees a LOT, being about 11 years old, and gets fleas frequently, so that’s a…

My first job was at a movie theater, and you have not truly smelled Hell until you've smelled an industrial amount of popcorn burnt.

RYAN STARTED THE FIRE

In my high school cafeteria, there was a truly disgusting microwave that we all accepted was a communal thing. That is, until someone put a muffin in it for 10 minutes and walked away. Naturally, there was a fire alarm that went off, but somehow it was decided to keep the microwave in the cafeteria. Oh, high school.

I’m just going to sum up every Nick Jonas interview from now until forever.

“SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX FUCKING PENIS VAGINA SEX I’M TOTALLY NOT A VIRGIN ANYMORE SEX SEX SEX.”

Listen, Nick, honey. We get it. You were under a weird Disney-run religious thumb as a teenager and you want to fight back against it. But you can own…

I had a water-repellant shirt as a kid. What they don’t tell you is that they also repel water from the INSIDE, which meant stewing in my own sweat all day.

TBH I’m still waiting for my own Michael Moscowitz.

There is a really good crumpet shop near Pike’s Place Market. Maybe there?

They have really good coffee and nutella crumpets and I went there 5 years ago but have never forgotten it.

A moose ate him.

Yes, but they wouldn’t be put in jail. Fined, maybe. Heavily criticized, definitely. But you don’t put teenagers in jail for being stupid.