Or if you hate bowel movements, you could eat a ton of Matzah and have that pesky problem taken care of.

Weird. I was just freaking out over this last night. Well, kinda. I was worried about having a messy desk at work and getting into serious trouble over it. I kind of have a complex.

I have the same problem, and I do what I call "Old Lady Jumping Jacks," which I learned in a Jazzercise class once upon a time. Instead of jumping, you step out with one leg and raise the arm on the same side, alternating sides. It doesn't feel strenuous at first, but after 5-10 reps, you feel it.

Excusez-moi, ou est la toilet?
Perdon, donde es el baño
Slicha, eh-fo ha sherutim?

I work in property management, so learning a new language can be worth millions if it means avoiding a lawsuit. Fair housing being what it is and all...

Cabbage is the best. It's cheap, has a mild flavor, and adds bulk to any dish. I add it to vegetable stir-fry and it doubles the portions.

Usually powdered because I'm too lazy and cheap to have fresh.

See if there is a company like Promove in that area. They match potential renters up with apartment complexes that fit their needs. The people I've worked with there have always been really candid about good neighborhoods and trying to get everyone the best deal possible.

Eh, it depends. Big management companies can be more dependable when it comes to maintenance, and you'll usually have to do less on your own as far as upkeep. They also give more opportunities to fix a problem if there's an issue with someone on staff, since there are more people available to work with.

Look at the types of businesses within a mile of the house/apartment. Nice, non-chain restaurants and upscale stores will be in nice neighborhoods. A Whole Foods is generally a good indicator of a safe area, as are hipster bars. Check-cashing places and liquor stores tend to indicate less-safe areas.

30-60 days before you plan on moving is the best time to look. Most leases require about that much notice before someone moves out, so that's when you'll have the best idea of what is coming available. It also gives you enough time to give your current landlord notice, if it's required in your lease. If you don't…

I make a "tea" concoction whenever I'm feeling a little gross, and it works every time. Hot water + honey + lemon + ginger + cinnamon = healthy!

I once read a book that suggested that a meal should not be bigger than what you could theoretically hold in two hands. The logic is that, in the days before utensils, you could never eat more than you could hold in both hands, so that's what we're adapted to eat.

MAAAAAYYYYYBBBBBEEEEE

...your comment just reminded me that my car comes equipped with a foldout picnic table. Aww yeah.

Possibly. There's a park nearby that I can probably walk to, definitely drive to. There's also a little patio outside the office that might be nice on a nice day.

Sigh. And to think I just got back from spending $45 at Trader Joe's. (In my defense, the purchase included coffee, olive oil, and two kinds of fish, all of which are big-ticket, rarely-bought items).

I decided to have Netflix instead of cable when I moved into my current apartment. It seemed like the best option.

Ugh I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I'm a fat woman, and you would not believe the kind of shit people think is appropriate to say to me on a regular basis.

There are. I learned my lesson after telling a school receptionist that it was "Sarah with an h" and got back a note that said "Sahra."