I'm a Sarah. I get all kinds of creative spelling, like Sahra and Serah. I have nothing but sympathy for people will uncommon names.

I'm one of those hippie-dippie liberal progressives who is all about the affirmative action, but even I am aware that that stuff goes overboard a LOT. I worked for state government; I've seen it firsthand.

Eh, I'm just more comfortable telling people to shut up now. Plus, I have the confidence to leave a job where I'm being abused.

Where to begin...

Joke's on you

Just be sure to stay out of Ben Wyatt territory.

You mean when I hear myself thinking in my father's voice?

I'm only a month into working two jobs after being unemployed for almost 6 months. During that time, I was flat broke for the first time in my life. Not the "broke" people joke about when they can't afford to go out to a fancy dinner with friends. Actually broke, to the point where I couldn't buy gas. Thankfully,…

Ooh! Pick me! I sell suits in on the weekends!

Toothpaste and other dental hygiene products. There are always coupons that get you 50 cents to a few dollars off. I haven't paid more than a dollar for toothpaste, floss, or toothbrushes in ages.

Pro tip: Barilla always has coupons out,and oftentimes they can make the product free. Since manufacturers pay grocery stores for allowing their coupons to be used, you can effectively make Barilla lose money by buying their products with coupons only.

We were taught that prayer was a "mostly ineffective" birth control method in my high school sex ed class. This was public school.

I buy my cat the fancy, organic food, but that's because her shit smells ten times worse if I don't.

I thought about it, but a) I don't think they provide support for my phone, and b) I know I use more than 100 mins. I have a new job starting soon that requires a lot of phone time, so maybe I can convince them to split the cost of my bill or something. #funemployment2k13

I have MetroPCS because it's pretty much all I can afford and it is THE. WORST. My calls drop for no reason, I never get service, data freezes sometimes, my connection is horrible in places it shouldn't be (Long Island! Calls were broken up on LONG. ISLAND.), etc. etc.

I was born a poor black child...

Sigh. The Worst Metaphor of the Year seats of getting some serious competition.

Hey, Ireland? I don't know what your heritage is, but you don't magically get to turn your race off and on when it's convenient.

Who lives here, the Pope? What is this, the playboy mansion? Imagine coming hinge and seeing this one or that one.

As a Sarah, I'm really surprised that my name didn't make a dent.