I usually do a tiny ponytail (I call it a nubbin) with as much hair as I can, then just make the rest look clean. If you have hair that looks good after air-drying, put some water on it in the morning and let it do its thang.

Remember how last night I was wondering when I could slut it up after my break-up? Well, I may have made a sex date for later this week with a guy I almost hooked up with a few years ago. For anyone wondering, I did warn him not to expect sex, that it depends on how I feel. So we're cool. I AM WINNING THIS…

I tried to find a gif of Adam from "Girls" saying "I like your mom," but I couldn't find it, so have this tangentially related gif.

Oh man, I got a hickey one day before Passover this year, meaning I had to wear a scarf at a family dinner IN MARCH. Not fun.

Nah, it was a really clean and easy breakup. He's still one of my best friends. The romance just wasn't there, you know?

On the other hand, though, she KNOWS that Prince Eric loves Ariel for her voice and WANTS to own Ariel as a seaweed thing. So she's probably lying through her teeth to give Ariel the wrong idea, yo.

Today has been nuts. Boyfriend and I broke up this afternoon, after a long discussion. Long story short, we've been growing apart for a while and want to just be friends. It's a big relief for both of us.

I'm sorry, I wasn't aware that sphincters were allowed to get burner accounts now.

Oh two separate things, sorry. I stream music on the work computer, which is hardwired in. But we don't have wifi, so I can't use my phone's internet capabilities without it going into my data.

We don't have wifi at my office. Like, at all. And we just upgraded to Windows 7 last month.

Eugh. I always manage to kick off my socks in my sleep. It's a pain in the butt.

Not to mention that they were on one of the busiest and most pedestrian-filled streets. It's hard enough to avoid an accident there while sober.

Atlanta: where America's sweethearts go to get arrested.

Ah, the joy of having dry, frizzy hair. If I get oily, something is seriously wrong.

In other words: the Boy Scouts hum and haw over whether to let ~*~teh evul gheyz~*~ into their organization. Meanwhile, the Girl Scouts are embracing modern technology and encouraging real-world skills.

It frustrates me that people assume that super-religious Jewish women are all for sexism because (some of) the men in their denomination are. Yes, there are Orthodox women who sit silently at home while the men pray. But there are just as many women who turn the woman-only spaces of gender-segregated synagogues into…

Five bucks says this guy starts talking to women he doesn't know at the gym at a creepily close proximity, and when they politely tell him they're not interested, he flips a shit and calls them "bitches."

Stupid questions: I'm more of a walker than a runner. Is there a difference between walking and running shoes?

What makes a man a man? Am I a man? Yes... technically yes.

I really don't have time for improper use of quotation marks. Scare-quoting all three of those words literally make the entire sentence meaningless.