Come on, y'all. Rice cooker. 2.5 times as much water as rice (i.e. 1 cup rice, 2 1/2 cups water). Go watch TV until it's done.

This is going to sound kooky, but...

It sounds like he may have a bigger issue than just depression. I'm clinically depressed, and I don't know that I've ever had enough energy while depressed to go off on someone. If he's regularly becoming hostile, he may have some form of manic-depressive disorder.

I did nawt film Movie 43. It is bullshit!

The "Room" episode of "How Did This Get Made" is my favorite thing. They interview Mark!

Whelp, I got sucked back into Pottermore. My screenname is QuestPumpkin200 if anyone wants to add me. I'm trying to make a stupid Polyjuice Potion right now and it keeps fucking up.

Listen, Khloe. I know you like to think your shit don't stink, but if you lean a little bit closer, roses really smell like poo-poo-poo.

BBBBLLLLLLIIIIIIMMMMMMPPPPPPIIIIIIEEEEEEESSSSSSS

A sad squee tonight. This is Barney, the First Dog under George W. Bush. He passed away today of lymphoma. :(

This is not the discussion that is being had.

Maybe she means you should have loose heels so you can kick them off in a hurry?

I think Jose Canseco runs Horse_ebooks.

Nah, it was a local place. That's my go-to awkward date restaurant. THEY HAVE GRILLED MAC AND CHEESE.

Sigh. If you don't want your OJ processed, make it yourself. It takes like 1o minutes.

I'd love it if I wasn't happily dating the only person in the world as gross as I am.

Well then I'll tell you the whole story. (Keep in mind that I'm working on a book of personal essays called "Guys I Couldn't Fuck" so this is practice.)

My suggestion is to test it out by letting him cum on your face, if that's something you both are comfortable with. You'll probably end up with a tiny bit in your mouth, and that'll let you know if you're ready to swallow without getting a mouthful of ass.

Allegedly. I make a "blowjob smoothie" of yogurt, pineapple, mango, and watermelon. Works all the time.

I am officially obsessed with my split ends. I can spend hours searching for them, staring at them, and peeling them. I'm at the point where only a few hairs are legitimately split, but a lot have those white tips where everything is microscopically frayed. HNNNNGGGG.

I started my new job this week! It's a government job (don't want to say more than that), and everyone at the office is super-nice. I'm kind of figuring out how everything works right now, but they already have given me a handful of tasks to complete. Yay!