I love everything about Men's Wearhouse. I'm teaching Boyfriend how to dress for post-college life, and that place is a godsend. CLOTHING THAT ISN'T JEANS! SALES! SUITS THAT FIT HIS HEIGHT! It's lovely.

My milkshake brings all the boys to the 'net

Activated charcoal is basically like a chemical sponge. I'm not great with the science of it, but the basic idea is that it absorbs any impurities on your teeth (or in your body). It's the same process as charcoal-filtering water, just on your body. And it's not scrubby, so it's great for people with weak enamel.

Nope. Bisexual implies that there are only two genders. In reality, there are as many genders as there are people.

Psst... cover your teeth in a paste made of activated charcoal and water and leave it on for a few minutes. Rinse it all off and brush your teeth after. Boom- shiny white! Just make sure not to swallow any of the charcoal, since it can neutralize any medicines in your body.

"I don't love just men" is really weirdly worded.

Word. If these two enjoy what they do and don't hurt anyone, I don't see the problem.

Meh. I've seen my fair share of porn in my time, and I don't see how this is any weirder than half the shit out there. I've seen plenty of pornos where two actresses pretend to be mother and daughter (or twins or whatever). So these two have a leg up (no pun intended) on the competition. As long as no one is doing…

Maybe it's just me, but I'm really not affected anymore by pictures of skinny models. Like, I'm never going to look like Keira Knightly because I will always have a sizeable tummy, wide hips, and big boobs. So what's the point in comparing myself to her, yannow?

Or as the great philosopher Albus Dumbledore once said, "The time has come to choose between what is right and what is easy."

You know what gets my goat? When I get into the express line and have 14 or 15 items and the person behind me flips a shit because I have "too many." First of all, mind ya business, and secondly, it's totally legit!

Remember that kids' movie that came out like 5 years ago (the title of which I can't be arsed to look up) where the main characters were cows with both horns and udders? And everyone with a basic knowledge of bovine biology was confused? I mourn the loss of fact-checking.

This is the greatest thing I have ever seen.

I thought the "Elope to Mexico" headline was an optical illusion at first. Nope, these people literally do not know how to conjugate English verbs. I'm gonna go cry into my English degree now.

I suggest a spin-off of "Parks and Rec" called "Ron and Andy Have a Conversation." Every week, Ron and Andy meet up at a different location and discuss politics, pop culture, survival skills, and anything else that comes up. Sweeps week special guest: Tom Haverford!

Pimp My Butthole.

1) "Like fun or like not fun" makes me think of "real or not real" which makes me angry because the whole ending of that book was rage-inducing.

One plant that doesn't even give them enough energy for sec. Hell, they can barely walk. They're always rolling everywhere.

Normally I don't want to look at the comment section of our brothers at Deadspin, but I did and they're surprisingly adequately horrified by this whole situation. And made a bunch of Buckeyes jokes, obvi.

As an animal lover, I say fuck pandas. They are the worst evolved animals on the planet. If they weren't so damn cute, they would have died out centuries ago.