.

Needs more tentacle rape.

Just like an average day walking around in Harajuku. God, I love Japan.

Man, Tim Lincecum looks like shit.

But she literally got handcuffed for trying to talk over the judge.

Importantly, one must remember that there is no such thing as a Golden Showa Day.

If I ran a 5k in 2:43 I’d be happy.

Oh! Something similar happened to my baby daughter. I was changing her diaper and something was hanging out. I pulled and it kept coming. It was an entire piece of asparagus.

In the words of the great Danny DeVito, “Chew your food, you’re an animal!”

Fucking CHEW YOUR FOOD

I was taking a shower and washing my butt, as you do, and pulled on something. Kept pulling. Started freaking the fuck out. Threw whatever it was against the wall and kept freaking out. Thought for sure I had some sort of intestinal worm. It was a rice noodle. That I pulled out of my butt.