“Sorry, Mister!”

This is this dude’s first-ever post lol

Almost everyone has more money than time. Pouring hours into a game that you purchased, only to subsequently discover you don’t care for, is self-defeating in the extreme.  

My friend worked at the Potbelly on Wacker Drive about 15 years ago. Richard Dent walked in, ordered a sandwich, and then came to my friend’s register. After being asked if he could get anything else for him, Dent pointed at the freshly baked cookies that were coming out of the oven via coneyor belt and said “COOKIE.”…

Now you’ve done it Lauren, because all I want in the world right now is a 3,000-word feature on whatever the fuck is going on here.

The Browns are your friend from high school who works at a hair salon but posts inspirational quotes from like Thoreau on Facebook.

Okay but by that point they’d have sat through hundreds of those videos and probably have Bingo sheets and costume competitions and things. 

Part II: The Desolation of Sock

This is to help their website/blog show up in search engines. More words mean better indexing.

drew puts knives in the dishwasher.  fry his face too.

As the internet kids say, THIS.^

The community theatre question should go to Ask A Manager. That comment section would be great.

Well if a UFC employee says that one of its biggest draws is on the level, I guess I have to agree.

Fans in general are idiots. Cubs fans are no exceptions. I’ve lived in Chicago for 50 years and this is true for every team here. 

The helpful and informed man at the bar the other day advised me that, in fact, all soccer players are gay.

Oh, good, he’s paying his taxes now, according to this!

My favorite Antoni recipe is when he sat back and let southern African American ladies make the macaroni salad just like they had since before he was born.

Surprisingly few “spit burger” stock images in Getty

I really, truly don’t understand the appeal of attending an NFL game unless you’re in a comped suite and you got free parking. I went to a Texans game last year where I was literally stuck next to a sweaty fat guy the whole time (or maybe a mirror). And the guy behind me kept yelling, “We need a first down!” as if it…

“Horton, Here’s a Poo!”