Right?! He sold out two shows before they figured this shit out??

His manager must really suck...these kinds of things are rarely "Surprise you can't get in" affairs.

They gave us Justin Bieber. They're not that polite.

You know you're an asshole when even Canada, the politest country in the world, is like ERMPH. BACK UP, TURN AROUND, WALK AWAY.

I love my country.

Anyone who tells kids to "ignore them and they'll go away" clearly was never bullied. Ignoring them just makes them try harder. I was bullied by a girl a year younger than me, and channeling my inner stoic ONLY MADE HER WORSE. She ended up tripping me while we were running laps in the parking lot for volleyball,…

I was bullied by this girl in middle school. I did everything right: went to the principal and told her what happened. The next day, me, my mom, the girl, her mom, and the principal all sat down in a room together. Basically, nothing happened. The principal allowed me to stay home that day and the girl got 0…

Oh, fuck this. I'm guessing he was being bullied at his school and the adults couldn't be bothered to do anything to rein in the little shits, just like it was when I was a kid. The excuses were always, "oh, they need to work it out themselves," or "oh, honey, just ignore them, they're jealous," or other bullshit…

Wouldn't be a kids drawing if there wasn't a weird penis.

When I was around 3, my dad found me arranging my fischer price people around a little table, with one of them on the table as the buffet. So he dusted off the turntable and played me The Reluctant Cannibal song by Flanders & Swann.

I do not remember getting the talk. I do, however, remember the day I learned (or it actually clicked?) the penis actually went INSIDE — I was 6, at the bus stop, and completely disgusted.

When I was in first grade, we had to change for gym class (Catholic school), which meant going into the bathroom a few people at a time. I was still in class when one of my classmates went to change. He realized that he couldn't unbutton his shirt on his own, so he came back to class to ask our teacher for help.…

That's actually pretty cute. My parents didn't encourage my creepyness, I was just born that way. They actually told me to tone down my vocab when I started school because they were afraid other kids wouldn't like me.

That's awesome. I started reading when I was two, and my parents had these endangered species rummy cards that we would use as flash cards to expand my vocabulary. When I was three, we were at the zoo and people were oohing and aahing and talking about antelope and I corrected them by saying "those aren't antelope.…

Not mine, but Barnacle Bill was 2 when his little sister was born. His mom had gone through a pretty rough labor, so when he went into see her she was pale and exhausted.

I was a creepy child, as in I was bad at socializing and I knew too many words. Essentially, I was a very small old person who read encyclopedias and watched daytime television. I was also bald (which my mom tried to cover with tiny hats) for the first few years of life to complete the picture.

I used to do the Butt Parade, as my mom called it. Every time she got a phone call, I'd take off all my clothes and march around the house waving my diaper in the air. What can I say? I like to keep things classy. Also, pants suck

I have a few.

I had a weird obsession with cannibalism. For my 4th grade enrichment class I built a large papier mâché island featuring a volcano, trees, caves, essential cooking pot and cannibal play figures. I wish I had a picture of that. Instead I offer the Mother's Day card I made that year. Mum still has it. I can't believe…

She's cute now, sure, but soon will come her terrible twos, where Grande will also learn to scream "I don't wanna!" at the top of her lungs and likely figure out that anything she can throw can be a weapon