I was imagining her as an evil megalomaniac. It's my own EL James fanfiction.

No one's calling her a fool. We are calling her an insufferable MONSTER.

I MADE MILLIONS OFF OF FANFICTION AND YOU ALL CALL ME A FOOL. YOU ARE ALL FOOLS. FOOLS!

Yeah, even I was #TeamSalesAssociate after that.

One time I was in Vegas and kept referring to Versace as Ver-Sase because I am both annoying as fuck and basic as hell and the saleslady put her hand on my shoulder and said "Sir, you and I both know how it's pronounced. Please stop doing that"

I think all underwear models wear a cup down there in ads - imagine the horror if you could see the outline of an actual dick (as people already lose their nuts over the suggestion of a nipple under s shirt or a sweater WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDRENZ).

Me. I LOVE men's underwear ads. I love men in underwear. I love socially acceptable ogling. I was not a Calvin Harris fan until I saw these ads. Now I think I love him.

Did anyone else think she was dating Tyler from the Vampire Diaries? The one who was a werewolf or something? This whole time I was living a lie... Did she ever date him?

While Gaga has toned it down a little lately, I don't think you can get an understated classic ring for her. It suits her and it is sweet. Here's hoping these two can beat the truly dismal odds regarding musician/actor marriages.

oh gee i didn't know anything about them as a couple but he looks ENAMORED of her, and vice versa!

I don't have a banana allergy, but I have noticed that I can't poop if I eat a lot of bananas. :o(

I'm really glad to see positive comments here because usually when Jez writes about Jack all the comments are trashing him and it makes me sad.

I don't have a banana allergy, but when they aren't ripe enough, sometimes they make my mouth sting like it's being punctured by thousands of tiny needles. I support the banana ban.

Yesssss. My response to all this mess is that JW is legit crazy in his personal life. Write up those stories if you want to. This is a non-story. And a boring blog post.

Never would've happened back in the Dodai Days.

i am also totally team jack white on this; the commentary (from the Jezebel author) was kinda petty and scrapin' the bottom of the barrel in my opinion. slow news day?

Really? Nothing like interpreting somebody else's words for entertainment value. Except your interpretation wasn't the least bit entertaining. I'd say his requests are pretty reasonable when compared with the likes of say...Jennifer Lopez. His requests are reasonable when not compared to anyone else actually. …

do people STILL not understand what contract riders are ACTUALLY for? the REAL purpose of these oddly specific riders is so that management can walk into a room and know weather or not the venue has actually read the whole contract.

So after being on tour, of sorts, I understand riders.

I once worked with someone who called in to work and said she would be off for a couple days because her grandmother died. I ran into her at the local liquor store and told her I was sorry about her grandmother. She said, "Oh, she's getting better." I didn't tell on her but she was fired within a month of being hired…