Fun fact! No one knows what you’re talking about because the video won’t play!

He was out by three fucking feet buddy.

30 seconds here.

Who the fuck (besides Laker fans) thinks Kobe was the best player of his generation?

I’m wondering what the countdown is until everyone realizes this fucker has never actually DONE anything.

I’m a sports lover and regular Deadspin commenter, actually in the blacks before Barry took offense to a Hogan joke and banned me.

Is that cover like a weird Photoshop? What’s up with his left cheek?

He even did the sleeves, that’s awesome.

What the fuck does he have cancer?

I love how you added “at my age”.

No it’s not.

Or. You are stupid.

Meanwhile. Reality exists.

Does his buttcrack have some kind of gravitational pull?

Wait - who the fuck let YOU back on this site?

Sports are a monopoly existing entirely outside the “real world.”

I made it through ten lines before realizing you had never played in a pickup game.

“Now kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is... Never try.”

How about the clusterfuck that is the Rio Olympics? Especially with all the NBA guys refusing to go I feel like it’s right up his alley.