Listen. You seem like you know things about cooking. Like Albert. You’re also painfully not funny. Like Albert.

Even for a kid from Columbine... nice shot.

No - because I’ve commented on io9 and Foxtrot Alpha WAY more than Jalopnik and I didn’t get either one...

Yeah what the fuck is going on?

That is some seriously weak game.

God it makes me so happy they lost.

I literally have no clue what this is about, just wanted to say you are a fucking idiot.

You could have just said “I’m an idiot.”

It warms my heart that his legacy will never be free of this...

Beal’s comments about him and Wall both being alphas are approaching “Dion Waiters level” delusion.

At what point are we going to talk about Watt being a pretty good 220 pound high school player, and a decent 220 pound tight end at Central Michigan, before walking on at Wisonsin, “miraculously” gaining roughly 70 pounds, and being the world beater he is today?

That is the world’s bravest/horniest dog.

I tried the KFC “boneless fried chicken” and threw it in the trash after three bites because it was so disgustingly inedible.

Has anyone ever thrown away their “career” (sponsorships in his case) for a dumber reason? I mean nothing REALLY happened that night. No one was hurt. The vandalism was minor. The swimmers lost a few bucks. Basically some drunk bros pissed on a wall and got into a short confrontation.

Little “Sean Taylor” = The little death

I don’t cycle, and I was raging thinking about how much it pisses me off when I’m driving and motherfuckers do that.

The new Gawker: Drink cold brewed coffee!

You mean his North Dakota toughness and playing college at a level which was basically “good Florida high school conference” didn’t prepare him for the NFL???

I am unbelievably attracted to red hair.

Me and my girlfriend’s favorite bit of baby gear is Yaz.