As a die-hard Mass Effect fan, I have to say this sounds fucking terrible. Please reassure me, fellow fans. Or don't, if you can't.

"It doesn't pay to try/All the smart boys know why…"

His normal behavior as President *has* been petty inaction, mostly.

What makes you say so?

I'm hoping Mass Effect: Andromeda will join this conversation. I've been waiting for that game for four fucking years.

Don't forget Nation of Islam folks and all the weird Five-Percenter offshots.

A motherfucking one-man shogunate

Same deal with Obama really. Harder to surf with Richard Branson when you're a senator

"Everything ends, so I'm just going to arbitrarily end this column here"

One of favorite novellas ever.

Oh hell, don't remind me about the Malaysia Airlines coverage. Fucking Don Lemon speculating about black holes and God. How the fuck can CNN do shit like that with a straight face?

It's in a different Overton window—the one in Russia.

I'm not sure I give a fuck about this story anymore

I know right?! I'm getting really tired of assholes and idiots trotting out the term even as invocation of the principle—because the principle of free speech is the idea that no authority has the right to target you for what you say. That doesn't mean your bullshit should be exempt from backlash, or that you shouldn't…

*Kellyanne Conway says that wasn't Polonium-210 he mentioned*

He's never going back; it's heavily implied that he becomes a respected old legend in the future and decides to stay there.

There is weed, but the federal government likes keeping it illegal to target poor people and minorities too much, and Big Pharma likes its legal-drug-dealer status too much, so people will probably continue ODing on fentanyl.

I want to believe the reason she was so lazy and dumb about this is that she stayed pissed that Spielberg didn't want to do an interview

Why the fuck is this happening? What the fuck is going on? When am I going to wake up?

Our attention span was right there, forgetting about Bernie