“We respectfully deny the FTC’s allegations that racism and fraud are unacceptable.”

I wish Courtney Loveseat would shut the hell up. Scary to think he could be a heartbeat away from the big boy chair if everything goes belly up in November.

I know that it was a completely fake story about Vance and the couch.

He’s the poster child for botched plastic surgery. If he shaved that beard he’d look like your aunt. 

So on their list of possible VPs, this is the best they went with? Who were the others, Beavis, Butthead, and Spongebob?

I just spit my drink out. My crew cab Silverado weighs less than this (5,440).

So a hydrogen bomb.

If the Mirai tank were full, at 5kg, the hydrogen would produce the equivalent of 316 pounds of TNT. The other 84 pounds of TNT equivalence would require 63 pounds of C4.

To Russia with love.

Oh Mirai. You are making those Hilux’s proud!

I think Stonic means “blocked colonic.” (cf. stasis and stenosis.)

He’s a Republican level of weird.

It’s insane that anyone thinks this guy should be president.  FFS people, what’s wrong with you?

He even boasted that the bridge was over “a thousand cubic feet,” according to The Daily Beast, but that turned out to be hyperbole (thank Christ).

His entire family has been trying to tell us how loony he is for a while. They may be understating their case. 

Well now the brain worms make sense.

This is not the kind of “grassroots campaign” America is looking for, RFK Jr.  

No shit.  My superyacht suffered superficial damage when it drifted into my Lear jet, which then caused my Sikorsky to tilt and throw my Bugatti into the bow.

$130million boat and it doesn’t even come with a docking station. Typical Apple. 

Billionaires’ sea-peens touch tips.