is he pitching or directing a gangbang that’s having trouble getting going

welcome to the right side of history, my friend. 

Last night before Warriors-Blazers there was a pro cornhole tournament on ESPN2. Did I watch the goddamn shit out of it? You bet I did.

This is not as simple as the old white men cop out.

ESPN as a network has completely lost men my age(34) when it comes to everything outside the live sports offerings. When I was in my 20's all of my friends and I considered it must view TV. Now it’s all Steven A and Skip just screaming at people, and a bunch of commentators who dress like they are on their way to…

Right?  It is probably nearing a decade since I watched anything on ESPN other than live sports with any consistency.  And that includes 30 for 30, which I’ve caught on demand sporadically over the years.

I was about to answer that I often put it on as background when I’m, say, folding laundry or cooking dinner so I can stay current with sports I don’t follow closely, but then I realized that I don’t actually do that anymore.

UHGGHHHGHGHHGG. WHATEVER!

Serious question for those who do:
Why do people watch ESPN for anything other than live events?

Coincidentally, didn’t a guy named Len Bias who once played in the NBA have a cocaine overdose?

Why wouldn’t drugs of abuse be treated more harshly than PEDs?

Gerrymandering has nothing to do with the presidential election.

Don’t worry, liberals have learned nothing from 2016 and will be running wet paper bag Joe Biden, and somehow still not campaign in blue collar districts.

If you cannot get fucking elected, you cannot be fucking president.

Yes, but...PEOPLE DIDN’T VOTE FOR HILARY.

Nope, you do not seem to be missing anything. 

“I wish that there was a better alternative to the dichotomy of either being sent to St. Peter for an indefinite time or going to prison,” Sellers said.

He was on the cover of SI at 16.  He’s been the Next Great Player for more than 10 years.

Deadspin is shocked, given how they were crying “collusion, collusion!” for months when teams were hesitating offering him 10/300M+ deals.

Let’s be real, Rich Hill would probably crank bombs off of you if you pitched to him today.