Narrator: It was not a consolation

Thank you for your service.

Thank you for your service.

*shoulder injury intensifies*

*Tried to play

Really showing off that world-renowned Duke “education.”

Luckily for us, voodoo economics have never been a problem in this country.

*extremely Paul Hogan voice* That’s not a heat wave. THAT’S a heat wave.

It’s clearly time for some game theory.

+1 tip of the Cap Anson

Speaking as a long-suffering Knicks fan, Carmelo has inspired me to say far worse things than that.

Boston gonna Boston

Tom Brady is not, in fact, a good boy.

Would watch

*pointedly ignoring the center of the map* When you play the game of maps, you win or you die. There is no middle ground.

Go fuck yourself

Please do not sex the taeks.

It does make them legal creeps, which is all the cover that specific type of asshat wants.

2017 is wild

Because he gave his best effort to the Packers and then was going to have them pay for an expensive surgery after they fell out of playoff contention but they fucked him so now he’s going to play for Patriots and they’re going to pay his salary and then for his shoulder reconstruction surgery after they are eliminated…

I would really like to know which verbal line one of your own fans needs to cross to want to kick him in the head. Unless, of course, you play for Chelsea, in which case that action would be completely understandable.