I’m pretty sure cloning Ayn Rand’s skin, so he can make a fleshlight out of it, is also another goal he has in life.

It’s an NBA-style move that’s drawing comparisons to what Sam Hinkie did with The Process in Philadelphia.

Oh, that’s the stuff.

the best part about the cleveland browns is we all eventually die

If he’s looking for an offensive line, you can’t beat the red one across his kid’s bean bag.

Hey now, he read the shit out of that teleprompter the other day!

• Here’s a video of Melania reading Oh, The Places You’ll Go to kids at a New York hospital.

This. That’s what makes this so notable. This is like the lowest-hanging fruit in the heirarcy of American racism and xenophobia...and yet he’s still not morally tall enough to pick it.

Good thing they’re stepping in, because all this economic insecurity is really getting out of hand.

I wouldn’t worry. Trump is just getting all these preliminary issues with the rich and powerful out of the way early so he can devote all of his time and energy to reopening all the coal mines and factories and make sure the working class all have well paying, secure jobs with good medical coverage, retirement…

There is such a thing as Conservative Feminism. I enjoy it - I believe in old-fashioned values like politeness and making kids get jobs. I believe kids should be allowed to walk to school alone and attend camp with no cell phones. I want Sex Ed and Home Economics in every school, and more vocational training. The…

I can’t imagine Magic doing that. He seems like a positive person.

To be fair, he’s only getting an early start because his impeachment will inevitably slow things down, re: campaigning.

Why is there a picture of Howard Stern attached to this story?

I just kind of skimmed this, but elections have consequences, libtards. And those consequences are apparently sagging breasts.

Except that Clinton isn’t the POTUS. Priority has to go to the current sitting POTUS’s cabinet/staff over that of their defeated opponent. Unless you think Clinton is somehow running the country from her non-POTUS/non-government position. And if that’s the case, an investigation into how that is happening would be…

One time, I forgot about a presentation I had in fourth grade. I didn’t research or read anything. Totally forgot about it for weeks. I did my best to wing it, but I only fooled the other idiot kids in the room, not my teacher. Every time Trump speaks, I hear that presentation.

I am just going to remind everyone - since it’s sort of dropping off the rage radar - that the Russian government colluded with the Trump campaign to steal the election with the purpose of weakening America to the point that Russia could destroy NATO and re-assert control over Europe. They didn’t do it because they…

Not only is he a quisling, he totally fucking looks like Vidkun Quisling himself.

What does this one do for you, tho?