It takes a while to figure out what new, innovative mistakes to make next, you know? And those golden parachutes don’t pack themselves.

“We’ll take a look at fixing our mistakes, but not for at least 14 months.”

Sir, this is Jalopnik. I was readying up my typing fingers to berate you for posting a photo of the Impala, and was even going to rip you apart for the fact “IMPALA” is literally written on the car!

The Chevy Malibu. Look at it.

I recently discovered that there’s a VinFast “dealer” here in Raleigh. And even more recently, I discovered that my neighbors bought one! I haven’t had a chance to ask them how it is, unfortunately.

I’ve been thinking of trading in my MG. I’ll need a short skirt and a long jacket, but I think I’m in.

Are we certain he has good taste? Or does he simply have *all the cars* and, by sheer brute force, has bought some cool ones?

I had a similar experience when doing some “spring cleaning” in my lab in grad school. It was mostly uneventful, but I found a box, about 9 inches on a side, unopened, that had a delivery date of 1994. This was in ~2013, mind you. It even had my boss’s name as the addressee, because it was back when he didn’t have…

When I worked in clothing retail, I (an introvert) would beg to spend large chunks of my shifts managing inventory and dressing the store, rather than aggressively upselling our customers. One day I was reorganizing the stock room and uncovered an entire box of beautiful dresses that I’d never seen before, not even on…

Antigravity’s ReStart battery does this. They’ve also got one for road cars, but it’s horrifically expensive. Like, $1000. 

I’m sort of surprised that cars don’t have an integrated jump-start battery pack for emergencies. It wouldn’t be hard to keep it on a trickle charger that’s powered by the car’s electrical systems to ensure it’s basically always ready to go.

Maybe the Pistons should have been not so Laimbeer?

Hey Michael, where was this “let’s let everyone be winners” attitude when you played the Pistons?

They were all over the southeast. Wherever gas was cheap. We had them all over North and South Carolina too. 

Its so wild. I used to see these things everywhere in Georgia, and then they just disappeared overnight. Went to Oregon recently and it seems all the mediocre H1+X hummers ended up out there!

There’s somebody (well, several somebodies) renovating a house across the street. One of them has a *pristine, massively lifted* H2. It’s truly wild to look at. It’s tow hitch must be three feet tall from where it meets the receiver to where the trailer hooks up.

With so many people telling you it’s a deathtrap, you kinda have to delude yourself into thinking you know something they don’t before you can really start convincing strangers that you’re right. Especially if you’re going to be getting on board the thing.

I was sitting here trying to be an altruist and thinking “none - there should be a vehicle for everyone and choice is good” but you talked me out of it. Fuck these things indeed.

On the contrary, I think it WAS quite surprising. 

Also unsurprising that he was among the victims of his corner-cutting, truth-bending, and denialism. Unfortunately, he took other innocent people with him.