If this was the White Sox playing 5+ hours of baseball this article would have been Marchman’s Ulysses

Still better than the ridiculous idea of starting a runner at 2nd base in extra innings.

You gotta admit, the change from carrying the helmets to wearing them is probably a net positive.

Because our President does not fully understand the consequences of his actions.

But seriously, do these morons grasp the difference between the ACC and the NCAA? What about the concept of leverage, and their utter lack of it in this situation? Notions like “cause and effect” and “consequences” are clearly beyond their feeble grasps.

In further keeping with North Carolina tradition they would be reinstated after one game.

You can’t use the words “logical sense” and “North Carolina” in the same sentence anymore.

Look, it doesn’t matter who I killed, just that you remember I killed them bestly.

“If you can possibly take two good trips a year, it will refresh your life. We all need R&R. Put it to good use,” he said to the studio audience Tuesday night.....

We were surprised that a sitting university president with no direct knowledge of our case would choose to offer such uninformed and highly speculative opinions...

To be fair....it was a double dribble.

This is a discussion about drinking beer while you shower. If you’re the type of artisotractic person who snubs beer based exclusively on the container, you should probably just sit this one out.

Yay!

Alternates:

Rumor has it the cheerleaders were also part of a pyramid scheme.

Of course police told them they did nothing wrong; prostitution is completely legal in Horry County.

Baylor: “Boy, we’re finally overtaking Penn State for most odious institutional breakdown! Our ‘callousness toward victims’ ratings are unprecedented!”

You either retire a hero, or play long enough to see yourself become a shitty statue.

Same for me. But only because I have no retirement savings and will probably work until I drop dead anyway.

Oh, well someone might wanna tell the web developer at Baylor to insert that quote into the Student Safety page instead of: