Assuming that you aren't trolling: I didn't realize Aaron Rodgers was one of the defensive liabilities.

The wait list is very real. My wife's on it and we will be waiting at least another 40 years.

That works, too.

Looks like David Cross.

dunna dunna dunna dunna dunna dunna dunna dunna BAMA.

That's a paddlin'.

Call me when he can predict ice cream headaches.

If she just stays down she will be simultaneously starting and stopping the swelling on her face.

I've heard good things about his recovery so far. He was apparently talking basketball earlier today, wondering about the upcoming Ohio State matchup for Marquette.

MOP BOY: I'm traveling as fast as I can!!

Suit yourself. Pro tip, though: you don't HAVE to eat the sausage and cheese exclusively, you don't HAVE to drink Miller beer exclusively, and you don't HAVE to do things the cliche way people who don't know say you're supposed to. You can, certainly, but there's a whole deal going on otherwise that you'd probably…

You come on out to Milwaukee, I'll show you a good time.

The Yankees made that mistake earlier this season, referring to certain players as veterans when they should have really been retired.

:....and then the catcher hit in into the other team's endzone!" - Phoenix crowd later, explaining the play to their friends.

Bo Jackson was a legendary athlete in high school. He grew up dirt-poor & I sincerely doubt he was on steroids as a 13-year-old.

Absolutely one of the greatest posts in Deadspin history. Screw the Cardinals and their hypocrisy.