For my sins, I have a 1998 900SE Cabrio. It’s a ‘Seinfeld Code’: black with stone leather interior.

Melbourne 1983. A sunny day, a white Triumph Stag, the hood down.

All the grace of a warthog.

I was outside the Apple store in my town a couple of weeks ago and saw a poster in the window that said ‘Watch’.

They could call Groggle.

Sound advice!

Size is always realtive when it comes to spiders in cars.

A Maybach says “I want people to know (or think) that I am rich.”

In that driving position, you’re perfectly placed to kiss your ass goodbye just before the (inevitable) impact.

Is there a ‘most careful lap’ record for the Ring?

Aussie racing legend Peter Brock used to build hot Commodores.

Must have an aerofoil to go with the rosary. Because then it will run on a wing and a prayer.

To paraphrase the old joke Brazilians make about their country, “flying cars are the transport of the future - and always will be”

There’s always this as an alternative.

The sound of suppressed sniggering at Rolls and Bentley is quite deafening.

Why? Because Jaguar XK SS. It has a 180mph Smith’s speedo.

It’s gorgeous, but what is it?

It’s the same shade of green as ‘Public Pissoir’.

Except the Giocatollo was not built on the Alfetta GTV, but on its baby brother, the Alfasud Sprint. ...

“ ... this White Model 706 bus-SUV hybrid thing.”