I hope you step on a Lego.

Hulk smashed.

This is coming from a writer employed by the same company that skewered the owner of Grumpy Cat IP for defending it just last night. Buy Hongo and the rest of the Gawker squatters a beer whenever they are tossed out and it’s all good.

You get the star on this one, because you looked up the crying Indian that’s actually an Italian actor because who the fuck would actually bother to find an Indian to do this shit

Was that whistle when he dropped it on the replay from the announcer? The crowd? Dubbed in by a production team member? Any way you look at it, it’s perfect.

Yeah, that and the fact that everything she did after Beetlejuice was complete shit.

How does it do with butt plugs?

Exactly. How one can type this in and not recognize the math is wrong is beyond me. Is it inflation adjusted or something? Spell it out. I can imagine Keyan’s annual raise conversation going along the lines of:

Maybe back when George Brett played ball.

Volvo has already stated they will accept liability when they sell a true self driving car to the public.

I bet you cried when you watched the short film about ants, though.

And, after that, Cleveland. This was his chance.

Nice to see you here, Mr. Nolan.

Wait. He sent a 8=====D~~~ text and this is news on Deadspin? Hogan won, kids. Get over it.

I can relate.

According to all reports, none of Takata’s faulty airbags caused the accidents in which their shrapnel grenades killed innocent people. They have that going for them.

Sometimes life puts a speed bump in your path. Occasionally, hitting that speed bump causes your airbag to deploy, sending metal shrapnel into your face and neck, resulting in your slow and painful death via exanguination and asphyxiation on your own blood. What are you gonna do?

We have two lane roads with 70 MPH limits. The thing about huge open spaces is they take a long time to cross.

Europeans think 100 miles is a long distance in the same manner that Americans think 100 years is a long time.

“the ATA has urged safety regulators to limit the speed of all vehicles, including passenger cars, to 65 mph. But safety groups want the speed capped at 60 mph.”