Had to look up “crossfaded”. I’m an old...

He totally does say “let go” and Macron points at something off in the distance and is internally screaming, “NOT TODAY, MOTHERFUCKER.”

Also, Melania’s entire outfit is gorgeous and now I feel like I’ve committed treason.

I swear Trump says “let go” about 5 seconds in, but you know he’s the one that won’t let go like there’s some sort of reward for being the one to free the other person from this awkwardness.

I feel like the fact that there is a person known nationally as “hot convict” should be included as an early predictor of Trump winning the 2016 election in future textbooks.

All drinking does is remove inhibition, it doesn’t turn someone into a different person. If they assaulted you while drunk, they were thinking about doing it while sober but didn’t because with a clear head they understood there would be consequences.

Hey, how about HE can move if he doesn’t want to sit there? For fuck’s sake.

“There was a general principle that a person should not put himself in a dangerous situation.”

Dude: “It’s in the Torah”

Good! That guy is an idiot. I say this as a Jewish American, the leeway that orthodox sects and Hasidim are given in secular situations is beyond ridiculous.

If my neighbor’s deck was big enough to reach my yard, I’d just ask if we could be friends with benefits. It’s always handy to have a big deck on speed dial.

I’m only sad that the elephant that killed him died.

“MSN reports that Botha fired his rifle on the charging cows, but a fourth swept in and surprised him from the side.”

Good.

Great advice for all situations.

When I was sexually harassed at work, the reporting process was at least 5 times as traumatic as the actual harassment - and I had a trusted, personal relationship with the person to whom I had to report. In the end, I was told that I would not be informed of any disciplinary actions that were taken against my…

Hmm. “Privilege”. Now there’s a great name for her new fragrance, after the stunning success of “Complicit”.

“Sentient Breadstick” was my old stripper name.

They once referred to him as our new "hobby."

I would live and die for all three of my children. Each one is precious in my eyes. I also wish I did not become a Dad. I'm not nearly as good at it as I had hoped. I feel like there is no refuge or sanctuary when things get really difficult. The peaceful moments either never happen or are far too short and few. …

Well, the other thing no one says is that just because you regret not having children doesn't mean you should have had children. I am ambivalent about having children and people who (for some reason) want me to have them always threaten me with "regret." I'm always asked, "What if you regret not having them?" The…