“I was surrounded by classmates with up-dos so shellacked in hairspray that they could safely ride a bike without a helmet.” is the best sentence ever written.

It’s probably pressed silica powder. My bathroom looks like a drug den.

Is that like Cocaine Tomfoolery?

You, good sir, are a delight.

Um, they do.

It is particularly challenging if you are an introvert (and an only child). Kids are like energy vampires

And Joan Cusack

Sarcasm doesn't read (unfortunately)

Great handle. Chocolate chip cookies dunked in coffee is my all-time favourite breakfast.