This just serves as a reminder that I have loved Britney for more than half of my life. Hmph.

Unfortunately, the demographic of this website is not really aimed at young teens — nor is the content. I don't think you're going to find many other "young teens" here.

I wish it was easier to get the answer. Too much work.

People are always so sorry when they face backlash for their words.

The one Jez article that I was actually hoping was written by Laura Beck. Dammit. Good luck with everything, MorningGlo!

Head to desk. Repeat.

I'm an atheist without an inkling of Christianity in my background. But nice try on the trolling. We're done.

We had free ice cream day. It was fat-filled and incredibly enjoyable.

First of all, what the hell is going through those chick's minds? Hanging out with a little kind in your thong? When would that EVER be okay? And also, that rape comment? What? WHAT?

And who made you the king of deciding what is attractive? I mean, seriously, who the hell are you speaking for?

Honestly, I don't think you're the worst writer ever, but you try so, so, so hard to make everything hyperbolic. Just chill on the "persuasive writing" skills you learned in college.

Uhhhh, even if she was fully naked, spreading her legs and screaming, "PLEASE, TAKE ME!!!" she was still eleven years old, and it's still rape. There is being a zealous defense attorney and then there is being a total asshole. So, from lawyer to lawyer, shut the fuck up, you piece of shit.

She'd have to be employed to negotiate for a raise.

Every time I see a picture of her I'm convinced it's Bethenny Frankel.

If this were true, how is it that we have vaccinations for anything?

Fine, but I'm guessing nine out of ten exercise machines also contain flame retardent chemicals linked to heightened cancer risk, and therefore, I choose to stick with my couch.

I've eaten there. It's just okay. As per usual, Laura Beck gives this her best "the world is ending!!!!" spin.

Laura, why is every story you write an "EVERYBODY PANIC!!!111!!!!! ELEVENTY!!!!!!1111!!!!!!!!!!!11" story? Chill the fuck out.

LOL, how do I not remember that tiny detail?

When did he stop having two legs?