Yeah, they're called pro-choice...

How dare Heidi Klum be so gorgeous in any color hair.

False. That may be true for cats, but definitely not true for dogs.

Oy, you win. Or lose, depending on how you look at it.

My sister told me over IM while I was at work that a favorite aunt of mine died, and that was insanely difficult to deal with. I can't even imagine what this woman is going through.

EXACTLY.

Why is the phrase tar baby even in this women's vocabulary?! I mean, sure, I've heard it, but I can't think of a time when I have ever in my life had those words escape my lips in conjunction with one another.

I'm so confused. Is there a different definition of puppy that I'm unaware of? Did I miss out on why this video is posted on Jezebel because I watched on mute?

Okay, as a shellac/axxium/gelcolor veteran, let me just say: they do NOT last a month. True, they don't usually chip, however the grow out would be disgusting. You'll have to go twice a month, and it'll probably cost you more than just going once a week for a manicure. Second, they DO NOT make your nails stronger, no…

I look at tons of pictures of sex, no pictures of food, and am fat and celibate (not purposely). EXPLAIN THAT ONE, SCIENCE.

Dear Jezebel, I think I speak for all us sane people when I say: WHO GIVES A FLYING FUCK?

Did the holocaust or slavery change your life at all or shape your view of the world? You need to get a grip on reality.

She literally looks exactly the same. I'm amazed.

Wait, this was at a zoo?

You're aware the alpha dog theory has been proven false?

I am really bothered by the fact that she lets them lick inside her mouth.

Holy. Crap. HOLY CRAP. How did they figure out that dog could do that?!

Oh, my dog and me made a deal the day I got her that she's never going to die. We'll have immortal dogs together.

What's your point?

Yeah. I'm overweight myself but I refuse to let my dog get that way. She deserves a healthy and long life (not that I don't, but I make my own choices — she doesn't). I'm especially bothered by dogs with short legs being heavy — they can have a lot of spine issues.