“A feminist,” Carly intones, in a snippet from an old speech, “is a woman who lives the live she chooses.”

Seriously, we have terrible, no-good, very bad voter turnout, especially among Democrats (which absolutely baffles me). We’re one of the least representative states, in the strict sense of the term. People shit on us constantly for being represented by unhinged fools, and our response is a collective shrug or a…

Some major, borderline illegal, redistricting.

I vote, I swear! I vote every damn time!

Ann Richards, yo.

Yes, there are! . And we seriously need to get out there and vote more. Even if it doesn’t make a difference immediately. This guy sucks ass.

I promise, there are intelligent, non-skeevy people in Texas. You just wouldn’t know it by who gets elected.

Have you read “Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them”? It’s not a novel—it’s a pretend textbook. You can page through it on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Fantastic-Beas…

YES, WE DO NEED THREE, THANKYOUVERYMUCH.

it’s not just the burial issue, either.

So here is what I don't understand about the law. The product of an abortion, just like the blood and tissue from any other medical procedure, is a biohazard. Biohazards are properly disposed of by...wait for it...incineration. The cost of waste disposal is built into a procedure. Therefore, aborted fetuses are…

Despite his comments about at least two of his daughters (Tiffany here, the comments about Ivanka saying “If she weren’t my daughter...”), I actually don’t think he wants to have sex with his own children. Rather, I think he believes that the highest compliment you can give a woman is to call her fuckable. Which leads…

Twelve?

It’s simple, really.

1/2 situations in which Men use the toilet require the seat to be down (unless you shit standing up, which...is just impressive)

2/2 situations in which Women use the toilet require the seat to be down.

Therefore 3/4 times the toilet seat needs to be down.


edit: holy fuck people I’m not saying Men…

I’m willing to bet that Pauly Shore is probably not a good representative of “white men”.

It's kinda odd that someone finally gets in trouble for sending an unsolicited dick pic and it's a woman, huh?

I can’t wait for President Trump to break out the “whoever smelt it, dealt it” argument when discussing pollution at the G20.

I don’t get the joke.

I said “city,” not “crime scene.”