It’s the end that brings it home.

Shit, I miss the good old days when I jerked off to a Hustler I kept hidden in the bottom of my sock drawer. Only person I had to worry about finding out was my mom.

Some of my best friends are pornbots. I thought this was a place of tolerance *zips up zipper*. I bid you good day

And so the bigotry and hatred continues, tearing apart our country..

Not gonna lie: I home office and immediately walked to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of rum.

The gif that keeps on giffing

“Take off my Cubs hat before you jinx the band and they break up.”

Sitting during the national anthem requires no apology to the military or veterans.

to be fair, he wouldn’t have let them finish telling him he won

We’ve accidentally lost more than you can imagine. We’re an “As Seen on TV” franchise; works great a lot of the time, but ends up putting broken glass in your lemonade when you least expect it.

We have Pam and Bev and their ilk to thank for the whole, you know, trainwreck disaster dumpsterfire apocalypse-bringer election. At least these two are getting called out. A little teeny weeny bright side.

If you refer to a black person as an “ape” there is no way in HELL you are not being racist. I’m sorry. This is not a case of “you misread my comment thooo.” It’s blatant racism.

TACTICAL NUKE INCOMING, IT’S OVER

which is remarkably funny, because melania totally aped the first lady’s speech, in heels.

Again, I would like to apologize for this getting out of hand

It’s still too close to the election for me to be mature so this makes me laugh too.

I’m stone cold sober and this makes me ecstatic.

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.