1) “Shaming” has one “m”. “Shamming”, I imagine, is the shorthand for using a shammy to wax a car. I say “I imagine” because that word doesn’t actually exist and I’m using that as a hypothetical to mock you for trying to lecture me while misspelling a word I typed correctly the first time in a post you could clearly…

Also, Armageddon is a good thing, especially for evangelicals. It supposed be (well, inevitable for one, and unknowable for another) one step closer to heaven on Earth.

If I do the rich, I'm going to hell? But their beds have the nicest sheets...

Your diabetes joke, despite being buried under like 4oo other posts, was probably the singular sentence of my afternoon.

“Needless to say, he got scabies" is a sentence I so desperately want to work into a conversation this month but won't be able to because I don't know that many filthy people.

To be fair, there's no getting that much oil cleaned out of a carpet. It's really just ruined.

Here’s what really grosses me out: I could do the same thing (crack an egg and leave it there on the counter) and not touch it for two weeks. Yes, it will stink like sulfur, but it won’t have fruitflies, maggots and anything other than maybe a little mold.

Really? I had Taco Bell fries 5 or 6 years ago in San Juan (they’ve always sold fries there because Puerto Ricans fucking love fried starches like no place on earth. Yes, really.) and they were okay-to-mildly-bland. You telling me they upped their seasoning game?

Pretty sure the T&C’s are void regardless of whether or not you accept them. The degree of reach here is likely illegal given that it’s sitting in a public space and you’re taking pictures of other public spaces. Since you can see the interior of the hive from the outside, it’s arguable that every square inch is in…

See, what you don’t get is the great fat divide between kids, dogs, guinea pigs and things like cats, ferrets and teenage boys is that the former stink individually. The latter stink up whole houses. When I was house shopping, I knew the cat houses the moment the front door was opened. It’s pervasive to the point you…

See, what you don’t get is the great fat divide between kids, dogs, guinea pigs and things like cats, ferrets and…

That’s list price. Nobody pays list price. Not insurance, not the government, and not individuals. List price exists solely to anchor negotiations between hospitals and insurance providers. It is a meaningless number by itself, and America sucks for even letting this kind of shenanigans go on.

It’s “down pat”. I can’t tell you why. No one can. It’s a mystery where that idiom came from. It just is.

It’s “down pat”. I can’t tell you what it’s “pat”, know one seems to know, but that’s the correct idiom.

Meat is usually cooked, thereby eliminating the risk (and evidence) contamination. So a lot of contaminated meat never sickens anyone. Salmonella, of course, is endemic to a lot of animals.

You people call them tips? Christ, English English is the worst. You put “e” and “r” in the wrong order all the time (“centre” vs the correct “center”) and everything is called pudding even when one pudding is a biscuit, another is a sausage and a third is fucking pot pie. NOT EVERYTHING IS PUDDING, BRITAIN. Get your…

Get rid of the cat. Not only is it getting poop grit in your sheets but it’s making your whole house smell like cat piss.

Get rid of the cat. Not only is it getting poop grit in your sheets but it’s making your whole house smell like cat…

I know it’s satire, but McDumps is actually pretty militant about food safety. Compare pre and post spin-off Chipotle and its never ending struggles with its supply chain.

Guy Fieri, definitely. Send that fish to Flavor Town in a pool of donkey sauce.

Yeah, the Theil offense doesn’t work against the pride and joy of the world’s richest man.

Does Cruise even evangelize Scientology? Like Paltrow stumps for her quackery as a full time gig. McCarthy got children killed as a side gig. Everyone knows Cruise is Scientology’s Jesus, but I don’t hear him go on about it.